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Jul. 15th, 2013

BH: tragic love gone wrong [m/a]

(no subject)

I wish my dad was alive right now.

Granted I wish this on a daily basis and have since I was 16 ½, but I really wish he was alive today, right this moment. Because Dad could always find the good side of any situation, no matter how horrible and terrible it was. After all, this was a man with a ticking time bomb in his head that could have killed him at any point in the 7 years he walked around with it, who would always fail to complain that it stole his ability to work,, to drive, that the medication used to keep him some sort of stability stole his speech, his motor skills. If any one should have complained about everything, it was my dad.

But I know what he would say right now to me. I know he would tell me that it was ok to be disappointed and afraid to walk down my own driveway to get the mail. That it was OK to be angry that my sister was arrested, berated and made to feel like a second class citizen for the sole reason of being a black girl with a Hispanic last name going to work some overtime for spending money to go to London. It's ok to feel like in the 44 years I have been alive that things haven't gotten better—they've gotten worse. And worse.

But he would remind me that there is no other country in the world that I could have these feelings and not be worried that I was going to be carted off somewhere. He would be disappointed in me for saying that for the very first time in my life, I am ashamed to be an American. That it has taken 44 years for me to finally realize that I am still a second class citizen, or to even have that thought. He believed in this country that gave him his education and his wife and his children. He believed that no matter what, that it was better to be here than to be anywhere else in the world.

I used to cling to that optimism, that the 'American dream' wasn't a steady job or the chance to have nothing then build yourself up. No, for him, the very existence of this place, where the opportunity to be anything you wanted to be, even if it was to be a ditchdigger...that was his American dream and he would be disappointed that for the first time, I have lost that hope.

Because I can't honestly believe anymore after living in this awful place, with its awful people and its blatant hatred, that there is any part of it that is for me. I want to go home. I hate living in this terrible place where I WILL get arrested because I can't possibly drive the car I drive or be a professional. I am tired for being looked at funny when people walk up to me, demanding help in the store and look confused when I tell them 'I don't work here'. Not from embarrassment, but exasperation. Like 'how dare you not be here to serve ME?'

This isn't the world he wanted us to live in. these aren't the things he wanted us to feel. But it is. And it makes me angry and hurt. This was not what he came here for. This wasn't what he wanted for us.

So for the first time in my life, I have to take active measures not to be caught in places alone at night. I worry constantly that the next phone call I get at 1 in the morning isn't that they arrested my sister for driving with a suspended license, but that they shot her and killed her. For being 'threatening'. That I have to be forced to be asked my opinion on something then get the look of OUTRAGE when I express said opinion my my BOSS. How dare I be so silly to be furious with Paula Deen for saying 'the n word'. You stupid idiot, how do you not understand that wanting your brother's wedding served but the real-life equivalents of lawn jockeys is NOT ACCEPTABLE? And that people might actually be offended by this?

Dad would be hurt that I want to be done with this horrible place, but it is the only country I know. Where would I go? Trinidad? Jamaica? Somewhere else? Would it be any better? Could it get any worse?

I have never been ashamed to be who I am.

Until today.

Fuck this stupid state. Fuck it right in the right ear.

May. 24th, 2013

Prince Tom


After being sucked up by life, Tom Hiddleston, life, TERRIBLE MEDICAL NEWS, life, travel planning...I have two new blogs. I hope to have them updated a lot more, while I use LJ to stalk ONTD and my other fandoms like a creeper - The Adventures of JJ
This is my travel blog. I literally have 1000s of photos from years of traveling that I have done nothing with. Well, now I am. Also, all upcoming pics and news about future trips will be posted here, including the upcoming journey to London and Paris this summer. - Diary of a Diabetic Foodie
I recently was diagnosed with Type-2 Diabetes. I hate it but I have to deal with it or else. But I love food and being a damned foodie so I am going to make my unruly pancreas heed--by tricking it with delicious foods that are yummy and good for me. And you. I will not give up gnocchi. I give no damns on that one.

Apr. 24th, 2013

Hunter: Act Of Congress


Star Trek is now ruined, at least I still have fucking Iron Man. Fucking JJ Abrahms. FUCKING JJ.

May. 21st, 2011

Snark-O-Meter at 10

7:45 PM 5/21/11

Just woke up.


Mommy was very amused.

Mar. 20th, 2011

Prince Tom


AT&T to buy T-Mobile

REALLY? I like my g-d phone! I like my T-Mobile Service! DNW to be ass-raped by AT&T and their unreasonable data plans! WTF T-Mobile. W.T.F.

Feb. 14th, 2011

Snark-O-Meter at 10

(no subject)

No. Cause I didn't see THAT coming.

Mar. 17th, 2009

Prince Tom

(no subject)

I might be in love with Meghan McCain a little bit today:

Kiss my fat ass

...Mehgan McCain is FAT? Holy Jesus.

Feb. 4th, 2009

Prince Tom

Every so often, this needs to be replayed

Jimmy Dean SOSIGCH* is for Southern People to eat...

Edit thanks to Rev. molius

Dec. 1st, 2008

Prince Tom

No More O&A


Nov. 12th, 2008

NYG World Champions!

(no subject)

I can has beer.

Homemade beer.

I took a little sip. To see if it was done so I can start bottling.

I got buzzed.


Sep. 12th, 2008

Prince Tom



Aug. 6th, 2008

Prince Tom

(no subject)



Jun. 30th, 2008

Prince Tom


Good going, dummy.

On multiple fronts.

and once again - I have the plague. Outstanding.

May. 16th, 2008

Prince Tom

You know what...

THE BOSS happened to think it was a waste of my time, and told me not to do it. I'm not her goddamned accountant, that's their job. IF THE BOSS told me not to do it, I'm not doing, I don't really give a flying fuck that YOU think it's not an unreasonalbe request.

Because it WAS.

YOU deal with the bitch from now on then, Miss 'I'm-so-fucking-perfect-I-make-no-mistakes-in-my-job-ever'. As I spent the entire WEEK you were gone putting out YOUR fires. But you snap at me when I go to talk to YOU about your crap that I had to do, but I just ahve to sit here and fucking take whatever your psychotic, OCD brain dishes out. Fuck you. Maybe I'll just move to Florida NOW. How about that?

Either way...I'm talking to THE BOSS about it. Period.

Oh yeah, what happened to 'you don't have to do phone so you can get the roll done'? Bitch.

Aug. 9th, 2007

Hunter: Act Of Congress


...I need a picture of a poodle.
Prince Tom

I's posting this here, because I need to say this one time...

...and then I'm done.

I already know I'll end up in the 'oh, youre starting wank' and mocked by god knows who over my stance. So be it. It's the only time I'm sticking my nose in it because no matter how many times I tried to ignore it, I ultimately couldn't. 'But they SAID so' is not a logical argument in my book, and yes, I very well might be of the 'slippery slope persuation', but only because I've seen it happen in too many other places not to cover my butt. It's posted here because I had to break it up in 2 pieces, and not everyone has the person in question friended.

DISCLAIMER: It's MY OPINION. Like an asshole, everyone has one. Even fictional characters.

This is in response to ignazwisdom's "trashing" of the moderating team of blades_of_glory and her subsequent declarations that :If you truly, honestly think that's going to happen -- if you think that Six Apart is going to shut down every single community with potential adults-only content -- then I don't see how we could ever possibly see eye to eye on this issue. I don't buy into slippery slope theories. and that she ONLY reads NC-17 material because she loves erotica and that the rules changes in BOG will hurt the fandom:
cut to save spaceCollapse )

#2: why I feel this wayCollapse )

OK. Done. I am still stuck on fic. And have a RP to try and get up and running again on GJ. And a psuedo-wedding to plan. Ugh, my head.

Final Edit: 36 out of 880 posts is a grand total of 4%. 4 percent. FOUR-STINKING-PERCENT! I'm about to bust out with the distinguished gentleman from New Hampshire icon...

Jul. 17th, 2007

Prince Tom

Only Massachusetts Folks Would Understand

I think this means I am still firmly a New Yorker....

it's a wicked pissah!Collapse )

Jun. 23rd, 2007

Prince Tom

(no subject)

Mom and Rusty
R.I.P. Rusty

RustyCollapse )

Jun. 13th, 2007

Prince Tom

Meme Time

1. My username is _____ because ____.
2. My journal is titled ____ because ____.
3. My subtitle is ____ because ____.
4. My friends page is called ____ because ____.
5. My default userpic is ____ because ____.

1. My username is ladyjj because: 'Lady' refers back to the fact that my dad's family has connections many many many greats back to Spanish nobility. JJ has been my nickname for 12 years now. It is the front half of my e-mail address.
2. My journal is titled You Or Someone Like You because I like Third Eye Blind's album of the same name and honestly...isn't that what you look for to read in an online journal? You....or someone like you?
3. My subtitle is 'The Assorted Ramblings of JJ' because have you read my journal? It is assorted and it rambled...when I remember to update it. Which I dont' alot. Cause my life is pretty freaking borning nowadays.
4. My friends page is called 'You Or Someone Like You' because see answer one. I thouggh it was clever.
5. My default userpic is a picture of my one and only tattoo, received in June of 2001 because I like it. It's a sunburst, with the 'ohm' symbol in it. Both represent the beginnings and sustaining of everything. The only thing I'm sorry it doesn't have is a moon symbol, but...that might be the next tattoo. It's only take six years to even think about it >.

Jun. 6th, 2007

Prince Tom

I am so out of touch

I just though, off the top of my head, everything I don't watch/get/like

-I hate American Idol
-I've never seen: Heroes, Supernatural, Smallville, Gilmore Girls, the OC, One Tree Hill, High School Musical, ANY of these new shows on Nickleodeon, America's Top Model, Big Brother, a CBS Sitcom, the Sopranos, Napoeleon Dynamite (all the way through, that is), the Real Life, Old School, Wedding Crashers, Zoolander, Anchorman (all pretty amazing since I co-mod a Will Ferrell fan community now), and haven't watched SNL on a regular basis since....1998. (I tuned in for The Rock

I have no idea who Rhianna is and why I should care why she fell out of her top.

I haven't seen a Lindsay Lohan movie since the Parent Trap

I don't listen to rap, except Salt-n-Pepa and the Beastie Boys

I have no IDEA who Panic!At the Disco is.

WOW. I'm clueless. XD

I guess I just like what I like. I still like Ted, after all these years and that is the ONLY FREAKING REASON I sat through that travesty that was Spiderman 3. That and I liked what they did with Harry, BUT THAT WAS IT. Not even Venom made me happy. Sigh. I'll still stop if Lucy Lawless ison the TV (even though I don't watch Battlestar Galactica and I've tried, I just can't get past Starbuck being a chick, I've tried cause it looks great!). My love for Jon Heder is starting...maybe one of these days I'll finally SEE Napoleon Dynamite the whole way through. I'm still bitter about liking Jake Gyllenhaal (Damn you Day After Tomorrow, you wonderfully cheesy movie)

I'm rambling. Bah. I suck.

I really need that personal mood theme. Like wo.

May. 9th, 2007

Prince Tom

You know it's bad when I like...update this journal with like...relavant stuff

Al Sharpton makes all parts of me hurt. Like WO

Dear Reverend Al:

Please take you and your cheezy Vigorol perm and do something useful. Like preach to your...OH THAT'S RIGHT! You don't have a congregation, cause you spend too much tme BUTTING YORU NOSE IN EVERYONE ELSE'S BUSINESS. You're a douche. You're fat, you look nothing like a even not hot 15 year old girl and you make me want to put your skin on something not pleasant.


Ugh. Why anyone listens to this douche after the Tamara Brawley debacle amazes me. I have news for you. I'm black. THIS JACK-OFF DOES NOT SPEAK FOR ME. I didn't elect him my 'spokeperson'. I knew people who have run him out of town and told him we don't need your hate mongering here, fool.

If this ass doesn't get HAMMERED for these statement, I am going ot be SORELY disappointed. Where are the calls for HIS censureship? Why aren't people asking for HIM to be removed from his radio show? If I were Mormon I would be totally bullhockey. (Since we all know good mormons don't really cuss)
Guess what, AL? Freedom of speech, religion, WHATEVER is NOT dependent on your skin color. If you want to say publically that your God is better than the Mormons' God? Peachy. You'd BETTER take the backlash then, and don't cry foul when peopel start asking fro YOU to step down from things.

God, I HATE that nappy headed ho.

Mar. 8th, 2007

Prince Tom

(no subject)






Jan. 14th, 2007

Prince Tom

(no subject)

So, half my icons disappeared, so I had to reload them...why I don't know, cause I almost never update...since life is quiet. Boring. Which isn't bad. Because it means there's no drama and such going on. Except I keep losing the house keys. I think I left them in the office, but, I have no easy way to go down to Belmont and find out...and of course, with the office door LOCKED how do I go check my desk? >.< At least i have football---did anyone see that Saints game? Stop dissing Hofstra University. Do you knwo how many NFL players have come out of Hofstra!!?? Wayne Chebret came out of Hofstra! yes, HOFSTRA! Charlie Adams from the Broncos? HOSFTRA. And most important to recent history....the Saints pick in the 7th round...yes..7th...and should have at least been considered for rookie of the year...Marques Colston. YES. HOFSTRA.

Show the Island some love. We know football. We gave you Boomer and Vinny T. Don't hate.

Once again, Deion Sanders, Steve Mariucci and Rich Eisner rule me...and need to call GAMES. Oh's not Steve Mariucci..its; 'The Moochie Man'.

And the thing that started this whole update to begin with....there was a NFL Commercial promoting Prince as the Super Bowl half-time act...which is great. But then It got me thinking about the replay on Opie and Anthony last week (what the hell is it with them being on the replay shows lately....who do they thin they are...Howard Stern?)

ANYWAY...they were replaying the bit with Earl (one of their staffers) who wanted to have a Black Rock radio show. Of course O&A totally mocked it and had all kinds of stereotypical stuff...but the question is valid: who would you play on a rock show with all black artists? They picked up a few: Chuck Berry, Little Richard, Jimi Hendrix, A tribe Called Quest, SevenDust...

Now mind you...not R&B....ROCK & ROLL...

I was miffed they left off Tina Turner, cause she is definitely rock...but it got me to thinking...who would you play on a black rock radio show? Do funk bands count (they counted them)? What about disco?

Here the list I came up with, off the top of my Googling!

Tina Turner
Ike and Tina Turner
Little Richard
Chuck Berry
Sly and the Family Stone
Grand Parliament Funkadelic
A Tribe Called Quest
Jimi Hendrix
Lenny Kravitz
Tracy Champan
Dakota Moon (shut up, I like them!)
Marvin Gaye
Fats Domino
BB King
Muddy Waters
James Brown
Living Colour
Michael Jackson

That's not even counting Reggae, which gives you Bob and Ziggy Marley, Peter Tosh, the Roots and a whole slew of other artists....and Charlie Pride, who was definitely COUNTRY....

When did it become NOT OK for black people to like pure rock and roll? I think I have two...maybe three rap/hip-hop songs on my Ven Plus Player. (It's a ghetto iPod Nano. Get off me. It has a FM Radio, which an iPod doesn't have. Neener) I don't LIKE most rap. I don't LIKE most hip-hop. I don't like most modern R&B. It all sounds exactly the same! I mean...exactly. It all about the same things, the exact same themes...with the exactly same high least....that's what I hear. If that makes me a 'race traitor' whatever. I haven't listed to Mariah Carey since her second or third album. The only 'R&B' singer in MY opinion who's done anything of real note and change is Mary J. Blige, who is starting to become the female version of Marvin Gaye and this is not a bad thing...

I'm just fussy. Maybe Professor Satzman was right...after 1750, music just went downhill. Well...1990, really. If you want to get technical (that's when Leonard Bernstein and Aaron Copeland died). Yes I'm being cynical. Oh well.

Just give me my Tina Turn 'Proud Mary' and I'll be happy.


May. 16th, 2006

Prince Tom

(no subject)

I'm scurred.


...ahem. Needless to say, I'm not flooded out. However, PEABODY CENTER IS >.

Jul. 8th, 2005

Prince Tom

(no subject)

We had to break up a fist fight today.

As everyone knows, I got a new job, and maddycross might very well soon be gainfully employed as well, so we decided to brave the wet and teh brrr to go into Beantown for a little bit. I wanted to pick up my monthly Zone 3 pass, as I would need it soon to go into Belmont, and we would need it for Maddie to go to Boston for multiple interviews this week, so the $128 on that was well spent. We went to Haymarket for five second to pick up some mangoes and some grapes, and then had a well deserved celebratory diner at the Union Oyster House, the oldest operating restaurant in the USA.

We get back to North Station, because in the discussing of the potential all but signed for job, I think perhaps it might be a good idea to get HER a commuter rail pass a well, just so she ha hers for the rest of this month. We decide to see at North Station if They;ll accept a check for this, since I didn't have enough cash on me at the time for hers and mine.

We get to the window, ask that check question, the guy says yes and I begin to write my check. A lady behind me asks if she can buy her ticket while I right my check. I say sure, I move to one side. What i didn't know was that she cut in front of an Asian girl in oder to do so. when the younger woman complained that she was first, the first woman, an older woman with hearing aids, snapped "Well, that's what you get for not being aggressive enough like us New Yorkers'. I rolled my eyes, and said LOUDLY that I was from New York and her kind of rudeness was NOT necessary. The young lady behind me then moved forward to get her ticket. The older woman then pushes forward, screaming that the ticket person gave her Canadian change and she demanded American. We ll informed her Canadian money was just fine. The girl was now being pushed against the counter and me and the woman, who was right in her face. when the younger girl again started to please stop pushing, this older woman SHOVED her and said, "Why don't you go back to your own country?"

Little Asian girl popped her in the face. At that point, another girl is trying to pull the older woman off the Asian girl, I'm trying to shove my arm in front of the Asian girl to shield her and when the girl finally walks away after buying her ticket, the older woman goes after her, still threatening, until a staffer from the MBTA finally escorted the older woman to her train.

I was sorely ashamed. I felt like I should have done more, maybe smacked the woman myself. It was when she made the comment to the girl about getting out of the US that MY head snapped up. I've never hid the fact that I am a first generation American, and proud of it. I think I barely remember saying, so, should I leave too? I remember repeating over and over again 'Ma'am is that really NECESSARY?" in my most even tone, all the while wanting to pop her in the face myself.

I don't know what bothered me more...that she's the kind of person that give the rest of us New Yorkers a bad name, or that she felt that SHE was more entitled to live in this country with her white skin. The girl, she was neat, clean, well mannered--until the older woman tried to kill her, that is. even then, she had nothing horrible to say, she was just trying to defend herself. should I have pointed out that the hearing aids in your ears, lady, were maybe subsides by hard earned tax money that me and the Asian girl and a whole bunch of other people who weren't born here paid to our federal government? Should I have been that petty too?

I should have done more than I did. this is going to leave a bitter taste in my mouth for days. How can anyone be quite that insensitive...especially during this time.

Jun. 8th, 2005

Prince Tom

(no subject)

Last night, before I went to bed, we stayed up and watched Lilo & Stitch.

It is my family. It is small, and broken, but still good.

I will miss my Eva-chu, very very much. I will miss her running around five minutes before we have to leave, screaming at the Hunter in her head to stop being so vain...when we both know it is really her being vain. I will miss dying her hair. I will miss walking down to Mama & Papa-san's store with her. I will miss her morning shuffle into the living room, hair all up, her bottom lip out, and the subsequent shuffle back into the bedroom. I will miss Monday Night RAW and CSI, and everything else we did together. Yes, she will be back...even if my own faith in his is low becuase there is so much that needs to be done and so much that she has to deal with, and the kids could very well say no mom, we want to stay....but I will still miss my small sister.

I promised no more crying until later.

To people who have been looking for me...I'm sorry. With moving and leavings and comings...I may not be back online for another week. I still have a lot to do.

Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten.

Yeh.Last night, before I went to bed, we stayed up and watched Lilo & Stitch.

It is my family. It is small, and broken, but still good.

I will miss my Eva-chu, very very much. I will miss her running around five minutes before we have to leave, screaming at the Hunter in her head to stop being so vain...when we both know it is really her being vain. I will miss dying her hair. I will miss walking down to Mama & Papa-san's store with her. I will miss her morning shuffle into the living room, hair all up, her bottom lip out, and the subsequent shuffle back into the bedroom. I will miss Monday Night RAW and CSI, and everything else we did together. Yes, she will be back...even if my own faith in his is low becuase there is so much that needs to be done and so much that she has to deal with, and the kids could very well say no mom, we want to stay....but I will still miss my small sister.

I promised no more crying until later. I managed to make it until the airport. They don't let you go back to the gate without a ticket anymore. Damned airports. I bawled on the shuttle to the train. I balwed when I got home. I will randomly bawl for no reason...justt because.

To people who have been looking for me...I'm sorry. With moving and leavings and comings...I may not be back online for another week. I still have a lot to do. There are things to pack, and I have to find homes for a small little Stitch and a Spongebob Pillow and a harley davidson penknife.

Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten.


Jun. 6th, 2005

Prince Tom

(no subject)

Go GreenZap Is a new service, like paypal, but with less fees, and later on this summer, you'll be able to purchase directly from national store websites, like Target, Overstock and Amazon.Com, get airplane tickets with Hotwire or pay your Netflix acoount with your GreenZap Account. Registation is free, and you get $25 in your account to start. Sign up, if you haven't already.

Apr. 9th, 2005

Prince Tom

The Words of Father molius

they need to hire some people who are willing to be rent-a-popes, so they can spread the word that much further. think about the $$$ the catholic church could bring in. it would help settle all those sex abuse scandal cases.


I love him.

He SCARES the shit out of me...but god, I love that Boy.

bed now.

Vegas in two days.

Mar. 30th, 2005

Prince Tom

(no subject)



Her name is Judi (with an i YES, and she is not a JudiTH even though I call her that ot aggreevateher)

Her journal is jshar73 cause that is her in about a nutshell.

*huggles the sissy*

*needs icons of the sissy, so daddy will have to do*

Feb. 21st, 2005

Prince Tom

I need some football icons

I love football. It was something my dad taugh me and my sister about on Saturday afternoons, when he was home from work and Mom was in the city, working at the shop. We would only go with her in the summers, so during the school year, we had a routine. Get up on Satudays, Dad would let us eat Frosted Flakes or Corn Pops or something with way too much sugar (Or back in the days when he could drive, breakfast at Friendly's!). Then we'd watch cartoons, and then we'd have lunch (campbell's alphabet soup with a can of veg-all in it. to this day, I can't eat alphabet soup without the vag-all. And I just can't bring myself to eat it anyway. 20 years, and I still miss daddy) Then we would watch college football. Dad was a Trojan (as in USC). Graduated in the days of OJ Simpson. He was raised and bred on soccer and cricket...but my father's mistress was American football. It drove mom NUTS when he'd let us stay up late on Monday nights to watch football with him. Sneak sips from his forbidden bottle of Budwiser (I hated it, Judi loved it) and eat some of his prized Breyer's Bing Cherry ice cream while we watched the Oakland Raiders, the Pittsburgh Steelers and Daddy's beloved Jets and Giants. Back int he day when the Jets ruled and the Giants drooled. One of the things I was always sorry about was the fact that the Giants or Jets never made it to the big Dance again while my father was alive. I remember jumpiing up and down ont he couch during the Giants-Bills game, thinking that we woudl have jumped with me.. Or that he never lived long enough to see his belived Raiders move back to Oakland.

If he had lived, I think I woudl be home more often during football season. I think like me, he'd have become a New England fan, just off one Tom Brady snap. We woul dhave had long phone calls on the merits between Herm Edwards and Bill Bellachik. And the first person on my cell after the 2004 draft trade woudl have been dad, screaming 'WE GOT HIM, WE GOT HIM!" about Eli Manning.

Dad LOVED college football. that was his real passion. Not surprisingly all West Coast teams, since that's where he lived when he first came to the US. USC, UCLA...Texas A&M...but I think he woudl have gone for Ole Miss. He was a closet Saints fan.

I miss my dad. September 14 of this year will be 20 years since he died....and I miss him more now than I did when Mommy came into my room and told me that he was gone. They say the it gets easier with time. They lie. I can still hear him in my head, clear as day, calling me 'chicken' (that's what he calle dme and Judi, I don't know why) and telling me to come watch Wide World of Sports.

Everything good that I am...every good ethic, every good, humanitarian thing that is in me, hell my sense of because of Sydney Phillip Noriega. Every day I live, I hope that people will look at me and say 'that woman was raised right'. I was. By a very good man.

I miss you, daddy.

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